A rant.

15 02 2011

Being a fat girl is no fun for many reasons, one of which I was reminded of today.
Allow me, please, to rant for a bit. I think it’s necessary for my self esteem or something (and yes, I know it’s pretty much just feeling sorry for myself because I put myself in this position, don’t think all that hasn’t been running through my mind. I’m still pissed.)

In Portland, it rains. Often. And sometimes all day. I’ve lived here 3.5 years and do not own a rain jacket. This is not because I’m oblivious to the weather, I just haven’t found one that fits and/or is in my budget. (Until I got my Adult Job last September, I made very little moolah.) I’ve finally come around to like the idea of taking care of myself, which includes not dressing like a slob, wearing make up and jewelry because it’s fun, and I TRIED to stop being a wet mess all the time by procuring a rain jacket. Simple? No. I think I need an XXL (think versus know because no stores carry that size so I’ve yet to try one on) and can’t find one. I’ve tried 9 stores in the past few days. NOTHING. Sure, I could buy an ugly men’s jacket, but to get one big enough to fit my hips means I’ve got room for a fully stuffed backpack on top. And a few sweaters. And maybe a camelback.  Seriously, they are huge. And $80-150. I just can’t spend that much money on something so unflattering, no matter how practical.

There isn’t much of a conclusion here, just that I’ve been ridiculously frustrated, to the point of tears. I kept thinking that all I wanted to do was take care of myself by wearing proper outerwear, and my size prevents that from happening. Know what happens when I feel that way? I WANT TO EAT. (I’ve been able to refrain for today, but it’s pretty obvious how I got to this point in life.)

Sigh.

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2 responses

6 03 2011
Pascale

Have you tried the Columbia outlet in Sellwood? They have some really good deals.

19 03 2011
parentheseed

Thanks, P. I’ve looked at outlets and they don’t carry size a million (that I’ve ever found).
I ended up getting one from Lands End online. It’s ok. Does the job.

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